Blog Post

The Grief of Evolution

The Grief of Evolution

In a few of my blogs, I mentioned how, for so many people I have spoken to, last year was a big year. It felt as though I would hear about people passing away, relationships ending etc.

Without a doubt, it felt as though, last year, life was strongly guiding us to see the truth (in situations, people, etc.) and placing us in positions where we had to decide what stays and what goes. Things that may have been below the surface or simmering for a while coming to a head, a time of choice, no longer hovering on the fence.

Just as with grief or death, these life lessons or situations advance us to a space where we experience new ways of being, thinking, feeling, beliefs etc.

Along this journey, sometimes, you may feel at a different place / level to those around you. The lessons we learn or experiences we go through, as we progress and evolve, what was once an easy fit may now feel out of place.

And this relates not only to relationships; it can also relate to work or your business. People I have spoken to recently, with the things they have gone through or the personal development they have done, are finding themselves at a different place to their clients or colleagues compared to what it used to be.

As I mentioned in my book, Death Expands Us, it’s not a matter of “right” or “wrong” but more about things being different. 10 years ago, I used to enjoy going out, partying, drinking and dancing until sunrise. Now, I am much more comfortable and find it far more enjoyable to have one on one time with friends, travel and experience new cultures, or spend more time alone enjoying my own company.  One is not “better” than the other. I am different, and now I enjoy different things. For me, it was accepting and acknowledging that, just because it was one way before doesn’t mean it must be that way forever. Things change, we change, and we have a choice. We can change our mind whenever we want. Nothing is set in stone.

This may even extend to where you live and the culture of that environment. I will be honest and say this has been an ongoing challenge for me while living in New Zealand. At times, I have felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. On many occasions, I would question what was wrong with me, why I wasn’t able to do or be the way others are here. Again, neither “right” nor “wrong” but decision and choice. Being honest with myself of where I am and what I feel will serve me best.

And considering one of our basic primal instincts is to fit in, belong, or be part of a community, being at different levels to others can create stress or grief around our need to belong or fit in.

So, I offer, before you think there is something “wrong” with you or why you don’t feel like you fit in anymore, maybe take a moment to think about how you have grown or changed and that perhaps the people, places, situations etc. used to work for you. Now that you are in a different place, it is okay and normal to progress to a different place with different people, places, situations etc.

If you enjoyed this blog, please recommend it or share it to help others find it. Also, click “respond” and let me know ways you can relate or ways you have eased grief personally.