In the same week, I came across a post on Instagram, saying “live outside of your head” and then received an email a few days later, talking about “Wherever you are, you’re always in your head.”
Regarding “Wherever you are, you’re always in your head,” it was explained as, you could be in the most amazing situation, with the most amazing people, something you have always dreamed of, yet can still be very unhappy, lonely etc.
As I thought about these two sayings, I can appreciate the gift that each is presenting.
Learning to “live outside of your head,” I wrote a blog, called “Taking you on a gentle walk,” where I explored the value in finding ways to not remain stuck in our heads but to be in reality. Yes, our head, mind, thoughts etc. are always with us; however, especially during times of grief, trauma, or challenges, it can be easy to get caught up in our head. The one thought (molehill) can spiral into a mountain before you realise it, the mental chatter speaking that thought into something far worse than it needed to be.
I have found, speaking those thoughts, ideas etc. a loud, with someone you trust and respect, can really be beneficial. Hearing yourself say it aloud often ushers in the realisation or insight you need. And the person you trust and respect can also offer a different perspective or way of seeing it that may not have been presented if we remained in our head.
“Wherever you are, you’re always in your head.” Making sense of this in a way that serves you is key. Our brains are noisy; they are busy making thoughts. It’s about, do we follow that noise? Do we listen to the noise it is making?
As I spoke about in my last blog, “Grief Identity,” are we identifying with it as who we are, when that’s just the noise it makes?
Without avoiding, denying, or trying to suppress these noisy thoughts, finding a way that helps us to rise above that noisy thought. Tools such as meditation, quiet time, time alone to reflect and process. It can be hard to explain why different tools work for different people because the reason they work doesn’t speak the same language that our brain does.
What I have found helped me was:
• “Live outside of your head.” Find something outside of yourself that helps you to keep going, reminds you why you want to keep going, something that brings a sense of purpose, feeling useful and some peace and ease.
• “Wherever you are, you’re always in your head.” Make peace with the fact that it is just noise in our heads. We have the choice if we want to identify with or follow that noise. Taking the time to explore what methods or tools will help you to rise above that noise.
If you enjoyed this blog, please recommend it or share it to help others find it. Also, click “respond” and let me know ways you can relate or ways you have eased grief.